Zach and I had a pretty mellow night last night. We went to a bar called Big Time Brewery, had a pitcher, watched Dragon Ball Z and rang in the New Year with about fifteen strangers. It was perfect; low key and not crowded.
Since 2016 ended as a relatively peaceful year, I guess it was guaranteed that 2017 would start like no other.
On our walk home, it started to snow. When we turned onto our road, I noticed a pile on the sidewalk in front of our house. As we got closer, it became apparent that the pile was a person. Specifically, a young girl in a long red coat and a not long cocktail dress.
“Are you OK?” we asked her. “Mmmmm.” groaned the lump. “Do you need help?” “Yuuuugh.” She replied.
We took that as a yes and helped her to her feet. I slung her arm over my shoulder and started helping her make her way into our apartment. I asked her a few basic questions, “Do you want us to give you a ride home? Did you take anything other than alcohol that we should be worried about? Do you have a roommate that I can get ahold of?” She couldn’t give me a straight answer, so I figured once we got her inside we could get her a glass of water and let her collect herself a bit.
Because this is America and we live near a college campus I knew I had to ask, “Did anything bad happen to you?” She said no and and there weren’t any signs of distress. I breathed a sigh of relief.
We got her inside and Zach went to get her some water and a bowl in case she needed to throw up. Much to our surprise, instead of sitting down on the chair, she flung herself backward onto the couch and immediately passed out. The only other words we got out of her were, “It’s super cold,” so we covered her with blankets and turned up the heater.
After all, it was below freezing outside and aside from her coat, she didn’t have a lot to keep her warm. Her legs and hands were bright red from the cold. About two minutes after we covered her, she stuck her feet out from under the blankets and mumbled, “shoes.”
I briefly debated calling the cops, just in case something went wrong. But, other than being a little too drunk and needing to rest, it didn’t seem like anything was the matter. So, I took her shoes off and left her to sleep it off.
I stayed home for college. My wild Friday nights were made up of sharing a couple glasses of wine on the couch with my parents while watching a movie. I told Zach, “I can’t believe this! Nothing like this has ever happened to me before.” I expected him to agree, but turns out he was not too surprised. Not only did he have a few wild nights of his own at Penn State, but has some “epic” tales from the Navy. These include the time in Florida where he woke up on a roof after a night out and the time a girl wandered into his apartment in Japan in the middle of the night and just hopped into bed! Apparently, her buddy lived next door and she was just a little confused in her drunkenness.
Our young adventurer woke us up around 5am when she needed to use the restroom. As she was putting on her shoes and coat, I offered to give her a ride home, walk home with her or let her stay until it was light outside.
She just smiled, half-drunkenly, opened up her arms and gave me a bear hug, “it’s fine. It’s fine,” she said and patted my face. After watching her make her way down the flight of stairs and down the sidewalk, I closed and locked the door.
I slipped into bed next to Zach and fell back asleep in just a few minutes. When I woke up this morning, I had to think for a minute to make sure it wasn’t all just a buzzed dream. But, the dirt on the couch and the pile of blankets on the floor assured me it wasn’t.
I’m not sure what 2017 has in store for us, but it already seems like we are in for quite an adventure …